I Forgot.

The first words that I stumbled over while meeting my boyfriend for the first time were:

"If you're just going to dick me and dump me, tell me now. At least that way I won't expect anything else out of you."

I suppose he approved, as I still haven't been dumped.

I forgot, in the midst of our mellow walk through our relationship, how it felt to be a bucket for another man's cum. I do believe, that if I were to slide myself into a category of the promiscuity index, it would be the man-eater. I've had enough sexual partners, and even an abortion, so yes, that sounds about right.
In forgetting that I once used my body to gain attention from men that never deserved my attention, I somehow managed to misplace the tremendous value that is bestowed upon every woman when a man really cares for her. And this is why women are daft.

I only realised this, after a thirty-four-year-old man, with horrific grammar and dazzling blue eyes cornered me at work with comments regarding his sexual appetite.
At first I was stunned and awe struck that a man, who had been married once, and who is now living with his girlfriend of four years, could proposition me for any sort of sex. Verbal, physical, emotional, it was all overwhelming.
I'm sure I blushed wildly and when he slapped my ass after, a strange feeling fluttered inside my soul. The desire for new meat, a new experience - it paralled a hunt and he knew that he was my prey. He knew that I radiated sex, and he knew that he could have it, if he played the right cards and he did.

I forgot my boyfriend.

Eventually the thirty-four-year-old's charm wore off. His pitiful grammar slurred into his erotic looks and his desperate attempts to grab my sexual attention failed miserably, along with the sparkle in his eyes.
It amuses me now, to see him, completely unaware of the unhappiness in his relationship and the only thing that turns me on about him is that I stole something from his girlfriend. I was the other woman for aproximately two minutes and I loved it. It was only a kiss, but it was enough to know that it wasn't right.

But I forgot my boyfriend.

After awhile his comments started to become condensending. I felt cheap, and stupid and guilty and I knew I was nothing more than the man-eater that I had forgotten how to be.
I forgot that I was cared for and that I was something to someone. I forgot what it was like to have someone cherish what was in me to cherish - not what was in me to fuck.

I do not want to fuck any man that is not my boyfriend. Not now, not ever. And now I finally understand why women have such a long promiscuity list.