Mint?

Josh had the worst breath at work last night.

It wasn't the, "D00d, do you want a piece of gum" breath, it was the, "Holy shit, I need to stand on the other side of the room before I offer you an entire bottle of Scope" breath.
I of course, being a socially akward dofus and also being, drastically unaware of proper manners for such situations, decided to say nothing about it and attempted to ignore him for the majority of the evening. It sorta worked.

When I was around him I tried to hold my breath. When that didn't work, I breathed through my mouth.

Nasty.

My relationship with Josh has slowly, but steadily spiraled downward into a standoff-ish abyss of annoyance.
His wife casually broke into his email account a few weeks back and now we're all paying the price for it.

They're in therapy.
I feel stupid.
He thinks he's created the mess.
She's confused.
I want to kill her.
She wants to be my friend.
He wants me to come over to play video games.
I want to stay as far away as possble.
She wants us to hang out.
I want to pretend the whole relationship didn't happen.

Did I mention I want to kill her?

With a paperclip and a kiwi.

He's asked me to go to his daughter's soccer game this evening and I'm torn.
There's part of me that wants to go for the sake of going somewhere and because I genuinely like his daughter and am sincerely worried for her emotional and mental upbringing, especially since her parents are four fucking weirdos.
The other part of me just wants to sleep.

I think Andrew would favour the latter.