Landed.

I can't fucking sleep.
I'm tired, but my brain won't get me to that place that lets you drift into REM. I've tried everything from masturbation to a good book, but nothing is inducing some hardcore narcolepsy. I blame it on the birth control.

This massive load of bullshit with Josh and his stupidly idiotic and majorly psychotic wife is starting to grind on my nerves. Before I was just annoyed that someone could be so utterly bass-ackwards and completely oblivious to it. Now, not only do I have to deal with her ridiculous lack of decent grammar, but I also have to deal with her neurotic brain functions through my own personal websites.

Congratulations diddums, you have a stalker.

I realised a long time ago that I have nothing to gain from Josh. He's always been a rude and impossible fuckwit and now, he's a rude and impossible fuckwit without a backbone. For the past week he's been teetering on the, "I don't know what I want, I don't know what to do, I don't want to be in this, I have no choices" parade of absolute crap. It's been driving me crazy.
I told him that he didn't have to talk to me. If that's what the situation called for and if that's what he wanted, than he should just cease all forms of communication and leave it at that. I'm not sure if he tried or not, he seemed to be avoiding me, but I think that was probably because every time I saw him I bluntly and simply stated,

"I'm the girl that you'll never get to talk to again because your wife is a controlling and self-absorbed lunatic."

I think that almost made him cry. He in turn, told me that he would never stop talking to me.

So instead of dealing with the situation in a constructive manner ('cause Josh doesn't deal well with any sort of conflict), he let his wife walk all over him and now, she's taken it upon herself to invade my websites (God only knows how she found the links to them. Oh wait, it was probably during one of those numerous breakins to her husband's computer) and has plastered her poorly articulated and absolutely pointless mindframe, to a group of people that will completely rip her apart because they're ALL MY FRIENDS.

Smart move Ann. Way to put yourself in the middle of a load of drama.

I don't know what Josh is doing. He's obviously telling his wife one thing and telling me the absolute opposite, and for once in a long time, it doesn't bother me to know that he's doing it. Probably because I just released two years of pent up anger and frustration in a form of a nasty email (http://loveisacunt.blogspot.com/2006/06/final-fuck-you-to-my-best-friends-wife.html).
And for once, it doesn't particularly bother me that, "Ann's taken it upon herself to get rid of me because Josh couldn't stand to do it" because
a) I don't believe that Josh would ever want to get rid of me and,
b) His lack of interest in keeping my friendship over the past couple days has been anything short of genuinely interested. I'm sure it's because he's terrified of his wife's evil, demon wrath of verbal, self-mutilating strings of, "I'm a fat whore, no one loves me."

I wouldn't want to deal with that shit either man. Take the low road d00d, I completely understand.

I quoted Ben Fold's lyrics to Landed, to Josh quite some time ago. There are pearls of wisdom in that song that I hope he holds close to him through this bumpy and overly stupid and dramatic time in his life.

I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for him. I'm sorry that I don't own the tact and the grace to keep my mouth shut when his wife goes on a stupid-spree of absolute lunacy.

I hope he knows that when he finally Lands, I'll be there to pick him up at the gates.