Mother Fucking Love.

I hate love. I hate being gooey and sticky and full of bubbling sap goop that floods out of every orifice, in every possible way when I am in it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I hate the lack of logistics. Just because you are dating a man, doesn't mean that he'll agree to wear a pink golf shirt on a Friday night. And no, don't try to justify it by pretending it's salmon. We all know it's pink. Fucking pink.

I hate the hearts and the sweet cupcake commercials and the diamond rings and the romantic serenades at two in the bloody morning and all the other horrific, halmark stamped, paper-affection-gizmos that come along with it... Fuckers.

I hate people who try to find some sort of foundation in getting back with their ex wives, even after she's managed to murder a senior citizen by strangulation - Even as she lives in a halfway house and has been a self-proclaimed lesbian for the past four years.

I hate when twenty-two-year-old cumdumpsters decide that the best way to break through the rubble of their four year, smoking relationship is to rebound with the first man they ever dated. The first man who told her that stripping was her best career choice and managed to get into her virginal panties, even though he was sleeping with another cunt every. single. night.

But I even hate being nice. I'd rather slither like a snake than try to encourage a perfectly depressed stranger. Especially when he's trying to quit smoking. Especially when he can't even afford to support his three children. Especially when he's on so much anti-depressants he can't remember what he did the day before.

I hate forgiving self-proclaimed-mother-martyrs who will never get enough of verbally abusing her child who is just like her ex-husband. Or trying to find acceptance of a selfish-sister who can't be arsed to visit her alcoholic father on his birthday because, "He didn't bother to visit her on hers."

I hate it.

I hate it enough to believe that it's not even there.

And the older I grow, the more certain I am that it was never there to begin with.