Appropriate Work Conversation.

There comes a point in one's life when speaking appropriately to your employer fails to be a priority. I've discovered that while this doesn't always gain you popularity points with your boss, it does (for a very short period of time), help you justify why exactly you agreed to work for ten fifty an hour.

Today was a day of justification.

The note that follows was left for the Sous Chef of Pizza Land.

Dear Brett,

I am writing you this note to spare you from the squealing you'd have to endure if I didn't. I apologise for leaving you with a bitch fest first thing in the morning, but sometimes these things can't be avoided.
I suppose I should give you the benefit of the doubt and actually believe that you were so busy this weekend that pizza dough couldn't be produced fast enough to keep up with the demand. I suppose this would result in the two large trays of dough left in the fridge... Good thing I made all that dough last week. Apparently the eight hundred asshole feet of snow that the God's dumped on us triggered the pizza craving of the whole Niagara Region - I understand. Please forgive me for assuming that my co-workers may have dropped the ball regarding pizza production. I'm obviously insane.

If I would have known that "tortillas" were an acceptable Bread of the Day, I would have saved you huge money in food cost ages ago. Its a good thing they are, 'cause you'll be needing a substitute for the Bread of the Day, today. I wasn't aware that making loaf bread or pizza dough was an optional action... Man am I stupid for thinking our customers would actually want a FRESH product.

The colour of our starter is indeed, not the most appealing colour ever created. However, the addition of the back and/or green, somewhat fuzzy bits in the bottom and sides of the bucket (in my humble opinion), are not an improvement. I found these today when I scrapped off the (what seemed to be), four inches of crust left over from the weekend. From what I could tell, the starter used today wasn't plagued with the it's new affliction but C'MON... Ewe.

Again, I apologise for the giant love note... I figure this reminder is needed 1/2 way through.

I suppose cutting back on food cost is a priority right now... It confuses me as to why there seems to be thirty plus loaves of day old bread under the Server's Station. Oh wait! Silly me, someone was just too lazy to throw it out. They must have been really tired or something, 'cause ten of the said loves are the bread that I made on Friday. I sure hope the servers didn't get confused and serve day old bread to patrons... That would totally suck. Jesus knows I enjoy chewing on a piece of bread that shares the consistency of a blown tire from the side of the QEW.

Its a shame that the individual who ordered the oregano and cheddar loaf will not be able to receive it today. I guess in a pinch, going next door to buy their black olive and herb bread will suffice. Man am I happy that I don't have to see the disappointment and/or possible anger in this valued costumer's face.

The dish pit this morning looked and smelt like a sewer monster chirped all over it. While I imagine the people who worked last night don't give a fuck about it, I'm sure the people that work today do. Nothing like the sweet aroma of putrid, rotting food in the morning.

Again, I am sorry.
I do not mean to frustrate or anger you with my constant bitching, but because these are constant problems that are driving me fucking insane.
I don't care if your staff fucks up pizza land until it implodes, but when they start messing with my stuff I tend to get pissy.

I've been told before that, "It's a good thing you care about the bread here, 'cause no one else does", and at first I laughed it off, but now I actually believe it.

Sincerely,
Your Useless Employee.

This letter was read not only by two Sous Chef's but also the Chef of the restaurant.

I have yet to get in trouble for it.