Inside Out.

I would just like you to know that I am simply infatuated with you. Completely and utterly in awe of you in every way.

Its disgusting.

One of the girls came into work today and asked me how I was doing and I said, "I'm fantastic." And she said, "Did you have a date this weekend?" And I said, "I sure did." And she just giggled at me, as it was very obvious that I was very, very happy.

But back in reality I am trying desperately hard to remain a civil and respectful young woman who doesn't push her excellent friend Bryce into a weird feeling. Its hard for me to feel unattatched to you and the more time I spend with you - talking to you, touching you - its becoming increasingly difficult.
I think maybe the best way to describe how I'm feeling is to turn your jellybean song around and bestow it upon you. I know that you're not liking another girl to be mean, and please don't feel like I'm trying to make you feel bad about it.
I suppose I'm just trying to acknowledge subtly that I'm taken with you and trying to be indifferent to that feeling is turning me inside out. Being with you is like getting a really awesome birthday present only to be told that you have to give it back after you played with it for a couple hours.

I guess I'm being pulled in two different directions: The Anna that wants to want you and the Anna that is constantly slapping me across the face for being so stupid with my emotions.
I don't know why you make me defenceless - I would never let a man do this to me. Its scary that I let someone do this to me.

I am a ball of emotional turmoil. Who needs birthcontrol to make me loopy when I have you?

You gave me so many good feelings this weekend. I don't know why you like me, and I wish I could feel some sense of false security in the idea of it, but I don't. I'm troubled by it and I think its beginning to make my head a bit confused.

How long does it take to know if you like someone enough to date them? I'm not quite good with this whole being social with lots of partners stuff and so I'm not entirely sure of the rules. I'm sure you share the same problem.

So yeah, I guess what I'm saying is that I should probably stop doing what we're doing because its harder than I thought it would be. I've never liked anyone as much as I've liked you and its beginning to be a bit overwhelming, a bit too scary and a lot of difficult.

I keep telling my head that I should know better, but when I try to summarize our relationship, all I can think is that you're indifferent to it. I know that's not the case, but sometimes its hard to wrap my head around situations that are anything but ordinary.

Please don't view this as me being dramatic. I really wish that I was as tough as I say I am, 'cause this would probably be a lot easier.