Rest.

October this year blew.
And it sucks that it blew because October is my favourite month out of the whole year and up until now, I've only got to experience it twenty-five times. God damn it eh? Doesn't it always seem like you experience more than you actually have? Twenty-five really isn't that big of a number.

My time at Willow came to an abrupt ending when I took the bread shift.
At first I thought that everything would be cool: Work nights, get raise, do bread - there really wasn't that many cons to the job. When I realised that the amount of work they wanted completed was absolutely asinine, added to the fact that no one would give me the help I needed, I sort of had a mental break down, so I quit.
My last week at Willow was one of complete and utter hell. Working in an all woman kitchen is quite possibly the most disgusting environment I have ever been in. I will never reccomend that kitchen to anyone because of that fact alone. Add in that there are no sanitation guidelines, dirty fridges, moldy fruit and terrible management and it could easily be said that the kitchen at Willow would have made Gordon Ramsey shoot himself in the face. I shit you not.
When I told Cathy about my concerns and my desire to leave, she told me that if I applied where I wanted to, she'd make sure that the owner knew about all of my bad habits. Nice threat, way to break the law.

I left anyway. I applied to where I wanted and I got hired. I have an apprenticeship now. I make more money. I don't have to do a crapload of work and I *will* get paid for the hours that I work. Holy cow, its like having a real job.

It was hard for me at Willow, to function in a world of bullshit and drama 24/7.
I've never felt so tiny, so insecure and so broken. My ambition, my passion was completely gone... Now that I'm in a new kitchen, I slowly see it coming back.

It took me a month to find the courage in myself to tell Cathy to go fuck herself. When I walked out of the kitchen for the last time, I felt as light as a marshmallow. Everything just went away.

I never want anyone to feel the way I did. I never want anyone to feel pressured by bills and social standards... I want people to remove themselves from shitty situations because its the right thing to do.
I learned from this whole mess that you should never let anyone treat you like you're nothing. Walk away from it, maintain your dignity and don't worry about the bills. If you look, you will find a means to an end and you will be happy.

I will never be made to feel unhappy in a workplace ever again.

No one fucks with the diddums.