Les Sigh.

I worked twelve hours today.

TWELVE hours.

It was an interesting day.

Me: "Hey Alissa."
Boss: "I need you to go to Coffee Time."
Me: "Nice to see you too."
Boss: "We're having a manager's meeting." She shoves a note in my hand.
Me: "What do you want in these coffees?"
Boss: "Uh... Nothing? That's why it just says five coffees."
Me: "Holy shit Alissa, I was just asking. Who's going to be at this meeting?"
Boss: "Uhh... Managers?"
Me: "Really? Shock and surprise."
Boss: "Just get the coffee's Anna."

On my way to the cash, I pick up a stack of papers resting on the desk. The note on it is screaming "HOLD", so I go to put them in the back room. Alissa sees this and angrily states:

"Don't put those back there!"
"Uhh.. Why?"
"Because you need to call the lady to tell her that we have them on hold. Don't you listen to the messages?"
"Alissa, I do not know how to check the machine."
"That's no exscuse."
"You're right, I totally should know how to read your mind by now."

Later that day...

Random Customer #1: "Do you sell this here?"
*Looks at a watercolour kit*
Me: "I think so, lets go look."
Random Customer #1: "OK good, cause I want to return it."
Me: "Oh, is there a problem with it?"
Random Customer #1: "No, I don't think so. It was just given to me as a gift and I don't really paint with watercolours."
Me: "Oh, ok. Do you have your receipt? Cause it looks as if we don't carry it here anymore."
Random Customer #1: "Oh I have no idea where it was bought. I was just hopeing I could return it here."

Moving on...

Random Customer #2: "Yeah Hi. Can I talk to a manager?"
Me: "I'm really sorry, our manager is in a meeting right now."
Random Customer #2: "Yeah. Ok. Who can I talk to about my resume... Cause I dropped it off a week ago and no one has contacted me."
Me: "Well, I know they're in the process of hiring, but haven't actually had any interviews, so if you want to call back tomorrow that would probably be best."
Random Customer #2: "Can't you go and find out when they're going to call me?"
Me: "Uh no. That's not how it works."
Random Customer #2: "Well why haven't they called me yet? Its been a week!"
Me: "I'm sorry, I'm not in charge of hiring."
Random Customer #2: "That's why I'm asking you to get the fucking person who is in charge of hiring."
an: "Uh sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Random Customer #2: "I just want to talk to a manager!" Slams fist on desk.
Dan: NOW.

There were other instances throughout the day. I blew up at Jesse because he wouldn't take a kid downstairs to use the bathroom. His exscuse was because he wasn't working. I rolled my eyes. What a pitiful exscuse. It pissed me off.

I don't know why I'm telling you all this. Probably because you've been here every day for the past week and then suddenly, my outlet for the day's small talk has vanished. Along with any chance of seeing him on msn, or hearing his voice for the day. He's just gone.

I'm failing miserably at this not talking to you plan. Twelve hours at work and the only thing I could think of was coming home to talk to you. Is that pathetic? Yes its pathetic.
The crazy man that works at the Market came in today and we spoke about pastries. He said that if I ever had the opportunity, I had to find a little town in Quebec, 3 hours outside of Ottawa where a man lives who used to be a pastry chef for the Queen. He sells hot chocolate in bowls and serves it with bread for dipping. He claims they're the best pastries he's ever had and all I wanted to do was come home and beg you to take me there because, when else am I ever going to have the chance?

Its this utterly stupid feeling, this disgusting twitch of guilt for wanting to talk to you still. I don't know what I'm doing and I feel like such a waste for writing this because really, what's the point?

How oddly the tables have turned in your life? Two weeks ago you were writing emails to girls releasing your thoughts and feelings and now you're on the receiving end. I suppose now is when I admit that I wish you liked me enough to write these sort of things.

Yes.
I am pathetic.
And tired.

And I'm sure this email will be a regret in the morning. I already feel like I've wasted too much of your time and that I've been nothing but a form of entertainment to you. I don't know why... Actually yes I do. Probably because it was so easy for you to walk away from it. But that's to be expected.

I get attatched too easily.