Doormat.

I don't know what to say to you anymore and I don't know if I should even begin to try to suss it out because I'm under the imrpession that you can't possibly care to hear it. I'm going to try and whether or not you read it is your decision. I just need to say this stuff.

I don't care anymore about what happened between us. I struggled with your decision, and there are times when it still pulls me in the wrong direction, but I understand it. That isn't what this email is about.

I promised you the first night that we talked that I would stick beside you no matter what. And despite your rudeness and indifference, I plan on living up to that promise because I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't.
I unfortunately don't know you well enough to decide if you're just a flat out asshole, or really do have so much baggage that you can't handle people accordingly. I don't get why you're so short with me now, or why you're rude, and unkind and generally uninterested in me, but whatever, its your decision and I'll live with it because if that's what you want, that's what you want.

But I'm not going to piss off.

I have no intentions of persuing you anymore though. My existence is here for you to use. Its not a fuck toy or an emotional and verbal punching bag. If you need me, you know where to find me. I'll help you with whatever I can because I said I would and because I want to.

I think I'm doing this because I don't want you to have an exscuse to be so miserable anymore. You told me you didn't feel loved, or that you didn't feel like you had a sense of home. I'm offering you my friendship. I want you to have a place to go that makes you feel welcome, and positive, and full of good things. Perhaps I'm being presumptious in assuming that you don't already have that. All in all, I just want you to smile.

I'm not going to be like everyone else in your life. Whether you want to acknowledge my presence as something you want, is up to you.

To quote Mr. Folds again,
'So freak out if you wanna and I'll still be here. Don't call me for years and when you do, yeah I'll still be here. I'm not sayin' the effort is a waste of time, but I just love you for the things you couldn't change, though you've tried. These hours of confusion they will soon expire, like everything does."

I hope to see the Andrew I met at Peaks around again some time and if he doesn't want to see me, at least he knows now that someone cares about him unconditionally.