In The Closet.

I can deal with my skeletons. You gotta deal with them or else you just become one. A rattling box of demented memories and past hauntings that you can't seem to shake. And when you try to shake 'em, the rattling makes you go insane. It's all fucked, but I can deal with that. It's when the skeletons get buried and the ghosts start to boo, that's when it stings.

Being a fuckup comes naturally to me. That's probably why I can level with so many of my stupidly arrogant and young mistakes. Because I was young and that always balances as a more than acceptable exscuse.

It's the people though, my ghosts, that scare me. Generally when people decide to remove or be removed from your life, it's for good reason. I unfortunately lack the switch that prevents me from learning from our decisions and usually always, welcome them back into my life with open arms, a loving hug and a fair admission that yes, "I was the reason why our relationship fell to pieces. I am crazy after all!"

It's the birth control!

I know I do it because I'm lonely.

Sometimes I think that I'm far from human. Sometimes I think, ewe gah, maybe I'm a feminist. Sometimes I think that maybe I should become a lesbian because as I do generally loathe the majority of the female race, I don't understand a male mind and frankly, don't ever want to. It's hard to remain betwixt two races that seem so utterly different and stupidly selfish compared to myself.
I just want to find one person that's NORMAL. Whether they own a five inch dick or a pussy the size of a bus, I don't care. Just someone who is incapable of unleashing a world of pain and frustation on my ass, that doesn't want to, "do" Lindsy Lohan 'cause she's half naked, on the cover of Vanity Fair. WHO CARES THAT SHE'S A MENTALY UNSTABLE ANOREXIC PYSCHO, SHE'S HOT! Or someone that doesn't want to stay up all night and discuss strategical tactics to become the world's best American Idol. I just want someone that wants me and only me and doesn't want to look at other women, or be a stupid, stupid girl because hey, that's what gender roles do.

I JUST WANT A SIMPLE, FUCKING NORMAL HUMAN TO WALK INTO MY LIFE AND LOVE ME, FAIR AND SQUARE, EASY AS PIE, DONE.

And maybe that way they won't turn into a ghost.