Asshole.

I didn't fuck you over Jason.

How silly of me to think that the stark and impossibly, umistakable comments you had left would be anything else but the truth? How silly of me to be offended by them. What was I thinking? What were you thinking? Leaving a comment like that, knowing perfectly well that SOMEONE YOU LOVED would be reading them? Or rather, someone you said you loved, once.

I should have been smart enough to realise that you probably never loved me. I was just a girl that you whispered meaningless nothings to in the middle of the night while you were bored at college. I get it now. Well, fuck you. I did love you and even if you didn't love me, the thought of it meant something. I had never gained the attention, or the affection of a genius before and I was dumbfounded and overwhelmed when you wanted to crack Velma. Of course then, the only thing that was cracked was my reason and sensibility. I adored you, more than I ever wanted to admit. When you broke me the first time, I vowed that I would never give you that power again, but stayed your friend because I was flattered that you took me into your confidence. I was so excited to hear your new ideas and stories and I was overwhelmed when you asked me to be part of LIAC.
I never wanted you to know how much I valued you and that's why I never told you the problem - because I never wanted you to have the power again to hurt me.

You said that I would look back on this and think that I was a fool. You were right; I am a fool, but only for believing that I may have been cleverer than you, for once.
It started on LIAC. It was plainly obvious for quite some time that I was an embarrassment to you instead of a friend. Don't tell me that I dug my own grave there; you knew fully well what I would be like. You were oblivious. You sat on your fence silently, remaining indifferent to the comments to keep your adoring audience satisfied with their muse. Now, through LIAC, I ironically realise that I was never your friend, but rather, just another member of your audience.

I'm not selfish and egotistical enough to think that the brunt of this mess falls squarely on your shoulders. I realise that I should have told you my concerns quite some time ago, but it was always, the wrong time. I could never make it right because you were always: "too busy." And when I did scramble to make it semi-clear it was always hushed with a, "It's fine" in a very cold, quick and uncomforting sort of way.
I think the breaking point came when we were discussing my vacation and you casually said, "it's up to you if you come or not," so indifferently. It botherd me that you seemed more excited about Tree's and God-awful Jenzilla's visit than mine. How was I to make head or tales betwixt the contrast of the semi-warm and cheerful manor during our five-minute MSN conversations and the careless and thoughtless comments left on LIAC?

How strange that the blog-world you created caused a relationship to end. Did you ever think it would come to this? I have been cunted by the original cunt. Consider my cherry popped.

I'm sorry that I will never hear the ending of your book and more sorry that I will never hear about the girl that you finally fall in love with, but I think that alone will do wonders for my simple sanity.